Need help? Call the 24-hour crisis line: 614-224-HOME (4663)
Am I Being Abused?
Domestic violence occurs when one person in a relationship uses a pattern of behavior to control the other person.
While people most often define domestic violence as physical violence, it can also take other forms, such as emotional/psychological abuse, economic abuse, or sexual abuse.
If your partner repeatedly exhibits one or more of the following behaviors in an attempt to control you, you may be in an abusive relationship:
- Pushing, slapping, hitting, choking, biting or kicking you
- Threatening you, your children, your family members or friends or your pet(s)
- Using or threatening use of a weapon against you
- Keeping you from seeing your family and friends or from going to work
- Putting you down or making you feel bad about yourself
- Keeping or taking your paycheck
- Threatening suicide to get you to do something
- Forcing you to have sex or perform sexual acts that you don’t want or like
Domestic violence often goes unreported due to societal stigmas that inhibit victims from disclosing their abuse. Victims may be too ashamed or frightened to admit they are being abused – even to close friends and family.
Or they may not see themselves as victims at all. They may think that domestic violence is defined solely as physical abuse. However, there are many types of domestic abuse.
Recognizing abuse is the key to understanding if you or someone you know is being abused. If your partner repeatedly uses one or more of the following to control you, you are being abused.
- Making threatening looks, actions or gestures
- Smashing things in front of you and/or destroying property
- Hurting your pet(s)
- Displaying weapons
Using Emotional Abuse
- Humiliating you through insults, name-calling, shaming and public put-downs
- Playing mind games in an effort to make you think you’re crazy
- Making you feel guilty about the abuse
- Increasing your dependence on him/her by limiting your outside involvements/activities
- Controlling what you do, who you see and talk to, what you read, and where you go
- Using jealousy as an excuse to justify abusive behaviors
Minimizing, Denying and Blaming
- Making light of the abuse or denying that it has occurred
- Shifting responsibility for the abuse onto you
- Making excuses for inexcusable behavior
- Making you feel guilty about involving the children
- Using children to relay messages
- Threatening to take the children away
- Using visitation time to harass you
- Treating you like a servant, a child or his/her possession
- Expecting you to obey him/her without question
- Acting like “master of the castle”
- Making all family decisions without your input
Using Economic Abuse
- Preventing you from getting or keeping a job
- Making you ask for money or giving you an allowance
- Taking your money
- Preventing your knowledge of or access to family income
Using Coercion and Threats
- Making and/or carrying out threats to hurt you
- Threatening to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members or even pets
- Threatening to leave you, commit suicide or report you to child protective services
- Forcing you to do illegal things
- Making you drop charges against him/her
If you are involved in a relationship where you are being hurt or abused, remember that you are not alone, it is not your fault, and help is available.
Call the CHOICES 24-hour hotline at 614-224-HOME (4663)
Lutheran Social Services of Central Ohio is a United Way agency, a member of Lutheran Services in America and a non-profit 501(c)(3) organization.
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